The pop3 server software is hooked up with a MSSQL / MYSQL database.
when a mail is recieved. it is held by the server rather than delivery to the real recieptent.. the server stores the sender address in a database field and assigns a unique id to it..and an auto-respond email is dispatched to the sender by a system email address which contains the unique key assigned to the senders emails address along with the necessary instructions..
the sender should reply the email within 20 minutes or what ever limit and should put the assigned unique key as a subject.. if the response from the sender is not recived within the time limit or is not with the adequate subject header.. then the sender's email is not deliverd in the recieptent inbox. rather it is deleted / archived or passed to junk mail by the system..
pretty cool eh'
but it is viable only for ppl runnig their own pop3 server and that is mostly medium and big business