General Discussion - Mental Health Hotline

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Mental Health Hotline

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Category: General Discussion
Forum Name: General Discussion
Forum Description: General discussion and chat on any topic.
URL: https://forums.webwiz.net/forum_posts.asp?TID=9191
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Topic: Mental Health Hotline

Posted By: dpyers
Subject: Mental Health Hotline
Date Posted: 23 January 2004 at 8:14pm

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 - repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press-no-one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

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Lead me not into temptation... I know the short cut, follow me.

Replies:

Posted By: KCWebMonkey
Date Posted: 24 January 2004 at 1:04am

I pushed 7, but the mother ship didn't answer...

Posted By: zMaestro
Date Posted: 24 January 2004 at 6:28am

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Posted By: pmormr
Date Posted: 24 January 2004 at 11:15am

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Paul A Morgan

http://www.pmorganphoto.com/" rel="nofollow - http://www.pmorganphoto.com/

Posted By: Mara_-
Date Posted: 28 January 2004 at 2:42am

thats very good

i like it...

i think i press 7 the mother ship doesnt answer so i talk with

KCWeb Monkey

Posted By: Bluefrog
Date Posted: 28 January 2004 at 5:42am

Just great... I hung up quick so they wouldn't get me, but I peed my pants laughing while reading...

Now I'm going to have to go buy more laundry detergent and you KNOW that the so-called spring fresh scent is nothing but mind control chemicals that they put in it...

I think dpyers is out to get us all~!

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http://renegademinds.com/" rel="nofollow - Renegade Minds - Guitar Software http://renegademinds.com/Default.aspx?tabid=65" rel="nofollow - Slow Down Music

Posted By: dpyers
Date Posted: 28 January 2004 at 8:48pm

Mara_- wrote:

i think i press 7 the mother ship doesnt answer so i talk with

KCWeb Monkey

KCWebMonkey has already been... how can we say it delicately... Probed? Any communication with him is immediately forwarded to the mother ship. But you really... really... don't want to know how.

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Lead me not into temptation... I know the short cut, follow me.

Posted By: michael
Date Posted: 28 January 2004 at 9:40pm

dpyers wrote:

Mara_- wrote:

i think i press 7 the mother ship doesnt answer so i talk with

KCWeb Monkey

KCWebMonkey has already been... how can we say it delicately... Probed? Any communication with him is immediately forwarded to the mother ship. But you really... really... don't want to know how.

LOL, ouch.

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http://baumannphoto.com" rel="nofollow - Blog | http://mpgtracker.com" rel="nofollow - MPG Tracker

Posted By: Mara_-
Date Posted: 29 January 2004 at 2:59am

Posted By: KCWebMonkey
Date Posted: 29 January 2004 at 1:18pm

Speaking of... has anyone else seen the episode of South Park when Cartman gets probed by aliens?

Big OUCH!

Posted By: Tegwin
Date Posted: 29 January 2004 at 5:47pm

Yeah, and OH MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY!!!

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If you dont want my peaches, dont shake my tree

Posted By: Mara_-
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 2:33am

oh thats cool i have it

jajajaja

Posted By: Necronom
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 4:25am

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/ths/23408886.html - http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/ths/23408886.html

(in another thread...but it fits so perfectly here :))

Posted By: zMaestro
Date Posted: 06 February 2004 at 10:36am

ahh.. another HOTLINE

Posted By: Semikolon
Date Posted: 09 February 2004 at 4:14pm

hahahahaha!